RETARD< RETARDED< RETARDATION

Well, these words are loaded. When I hear retard, I think of late in French because I grew up in Quebec. Children or adults who have been labelled with one of the above are often viewed with apprehension, fear or pity. Now the label is developmentally delayed. These souls are here to teach us to be in the moment and to be truthful with our feelings.

I was listening to the Black Eyed Peas singing ‘Let’s Get Retarded ’. This song is only titled so on their album. It was retitled for air play to ‘Let’s Get Started.’ Many of the moral majority complained about the word retarded. Have you ever seen the developmentally delayed dance? I have. These ‘slow’ souls don’t care who is watching. If they want to dance, they just do. I haven’t seen a whole lot of rhythm but I have a seen a whole lot of joy. Who among us feel free enough to dance without worrying what anyone thinks? These special souls are here to teach us that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks if we want to dance or sing or whatever.
Back to the song, it is just trying to tell you to dance and get rid of your worries. Dance as if no one is watching. Live your life, feel free, be free, just be you.

My youngest son has Downs Syndrome. He loves to dance and has great rhythm. It must be in the genes because all my children can dance well. Maybe it was because I put music on when they were young and we would all dance.

Anyway, my young 18 year old son wanted to go to a dance at his high school. The students in the special needs program don’t go to the regular school dances, they need permission and a parent to attend the regular dances. So my son obtained permission and my daughter and I went to the dance. It was called ‘A Touch of Class.’ Rigil (my boy) wanted to dress up, so his Dad lent him a suit jacket and bought him a dress shirt. Rigil met two other special needs students, two girls, there. We all walked into the gym where the music was playing. There were about seventy students dancing, at least sixty five of them were girls. All the boys were sitting in the stands or playing Frisbee or generally joking with each other while the girls danced.

My son and his two friends headed to the middle of the dance floor. Rigil danced for at least half an hour before coming to where my daughter and I were sitting. We gave him water and back he went to dance. This went on for two hours. Meanwhile I walked around and talked to other teenagers encouraging them not to be afraid and join the dance. Some of them gravitated to the dance floor but seemed to want a special invitation from the girls already dancing. Rigil does not care what anyone thinks, he just does what he wants to. I love him for that. He is certainly fearless in that. Who really was backwards in this situation? My son paid his money and danced while 99% of the boys could not get up the nerve to dance.
Rigil is all about love. He is friendly to people but I notice that the people he will talk to are friendly to him. He has very good instincts. He can tell when someone needs a hug or a kind word and never hangs on to bad feelings or negativity. Rigil is here to remind me to be the best. He is very intuitive and seems to know things before they happen.

One time, an ex-daughter in-law was coming by to pick up a granddaughter. Rigil was downstairs watching a Jim Carrey movie. He loves Jim Carrey and loves laughing. Meanwhile, upstairs Rigil’s Dad was going on about his negative view of my ex-daughter-in-law. The doorbell rang, Rigil ran upstairs and watched from the hall while I answered the door. I opened the door, Cindy smiled and came in the front hall. Rigil said hello and then ‘I love you Cindy.’ Cindy said ‘why thank you Rigil for that awesome greeting.’
Rigil nodded and retreated back downstairs. My granddaughter left with her aunt and I walked into the kitchen. I looked at my ex-husband and asked him, ’Did you get that?’
He looked ashamed. Rigil reminds us that everyone deserves love and kindness. He is in my family for that reason, I believe. I am one lucky mother. We should all be retarded, maybe we would really be ourselves. Maybe we would be more joyful, more thankful and less judgemental. I do know that is all true.
The Black-Eyed Peas have it right. Let’s Get Retarded is a great song and my boy loves that song. That’s good enough for me.